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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?